Exam Week - June 2016 Sessions.

21 10 2016 | Fri | Kamsis PMU | 9:50pm

Hello Bloggers,

Not much happened this week. Same old, same old, as we say. Some aberrations at work keep exasperating me. However, I do remember that I managed to find some time to stay acquainted with the affairs of the world.

As exam time is coming to a close and all my students start to trickle rooms from their various activities, I figured it was about time I write something about my experience. I spent most of my time reflecting on and processing what had happened to me, muddling my words when talking to new faces and feeling genuinely disconnected from most conversations. I suppose my life was just in a very uncertain place.

The culture shock was overwhelming. It’s like what people have often said to me about moving to Mukah, that the shock isn't moving to the city, but moving back to your small, quiet town. I was in a similar sort of situation. I did a bit of exploring but felt so bewildered by the change in scenery to enjoy it much.

I suppose Mukah taught me that sometimes, it’s OK to stop. You can push yourself too hard and your mind needs time to process things that happen to you. With hindsight, I probably wasn't well enough to go away at all, but in no way to a regret my decision to do so. It’s just made me realise that although moving to a new place may seem like a fun adventure, and in most respects it is, it’s also important never to forget the pressure it can have on your mental well-being. You can take things too quickly and everyone needs time to adjust.

I think the older I get, the more I realise the value of time at home, in familiarity and in those who have known you for years. It’s a place where you don’t have to be ‘on’ all the time, where you can relax and just be yourself without having to worry about making new friends or impressing anybody. In my mind I now have three ‘homes’: Limbang, Miri, Mukah, though Mukah will always be closest to my heart. It’s funny how going away for almost 6 years can make you realise the value of staying put. Roll on a summer filled with old friends, drink and eating. I think I've just about earned it.

I feel like my writing (in general, not just on here) has recently been lacking emotion and I've felt incredibly distant from it. I think that's what I've been missing in the past month or so, and that rather than suffering from pure writer's block, I've actually been suffering from lack of passion. It's times like these when I really struggle to simply blog about adventures and travel.

I've actually been travelling a lot recently, and having a really great time. I spent an awesome week in Port Dickson with my students for Festival Kebudayaan dan Warisan Politeknik Malaysia Kali Ke-6. But for some reason, I've found myself un-enthused to write about any of these really exciting experiences.

Last Sunday during the BBQ, i quoted one of the saying, “You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart always will be elsewhere. That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”- Miriam Adeney. 

I'm not really one to get homesick. I've always used travel as an escape from everyday life, something to turn to when things get bad to give myself a breather from the world. A bit ironic I suppose. However for the first time in my life, I was in no quick hurry to move on from my beloved hometown. And that's not just because it's so amazing.

My stay in Mukah taught me the value that can be found in staying in one place for more than just a flying visit. I became so attached and entrenched in the culture and the people and the way of life, that I'm still finding it hard to let go. I do had offered to further my studies, but here i am still sitting at my old eating table.  As much as I love driving to cities, I'm finding it harder to write about my shorter excursions, when I've not really had any time to form a bond with a place. Yes, I've had a great time and yes, I would go back (or not, depending on where it is!) but I'm a little tired of sounding like a less-hip version of a Lonely Planet travel guide.

Of course I'll still be jetting setting at any opportunity, when time and my bank balance allow. I'm not knocking short trips at all, rather just my own attitude towards travel. I think what I'm trying to say is, I don't think I'll be writing as much about the 'normal' travel things I do. I'll always share photos - you know I love a good instagram - but I'd like to start giving a bit more credit to each place that I visit. There's so much history and life and colour all over the world, I don't want to belittle it by simply writing about that trip I took. 


no ideaaaaaa.....

Jadual Sesi Jun 2015

25 July 2015 | Kamsis PMU | 12:53noon

Late Post 

The timetable

15 Jun 2015 Majlis Perasmian Pembukaan Minggu Inspirasi Siswa (MIS) bagi Sesi Jun 2015, maka bermulalah hari baru ku sebagai pendidik Bumi Kenyalang. Seramai lebih kurang 800 orang pelajar baru mendaftar di Politeknik Mukah dalam pelbagai bidang diploma yang dipilih.

Seperti biasa, saya akan menyibukan diri untuk slot moral.. sekadar berkongsi pandangan mengenai kehidupan sebagai salah seorang pelajar IPT dan seterusya sebagai Pelajar Kristian di IPT. 

Perkongsian cerita memang membosankan, tetapi melihat muka setiap seorang pelajar ini, jelas menunjukan mereka amat memerlukan bimbingan yang betul kerana setiap mereka mempunyai cerita yang tersendiri dan hadir daripada pelbagai latar belakang.

27 Jun 2015 

Merupakan hari pertama sesi perkuliahan bagi sesi jun 2015. dan ini merupakan tahun ke empat saya bergelar pendidik bumi kenyalang. 

Untuk semester ini, mostly kelas saya adalah utk semester atas iaitu Semester 5 dan mereka ini baru sahaja kembali ke PMU selepas 6 bulan menjalankan Latihan Industri di Firma pilihan seluruh Malaysia. 

Dan salah satu subjek wajib juga adalah PK604 Business Communication utk students semester 6 yang mengambil bidang kesetiausahaan. Frankly speaking, pertama kali diberi tugasan untuk mengajar subjek ini merupakan saat yang sukar dalam karier saya sebagai seorang pendidik. Walaupun hakikatnya, subjek ini saya telah pelajari semasa di universiti tetapi kandungan ternyata berbeza sama sekali. Saya sendiri tpaksa belajar semula dan membaca serta memahami kehendak silibus sebelum masuk kelas. It was never been that easy. Tanpa bantuan dripada sesiapa, berlandaskan sumber internet, saya berjaya mengharungi kesemua cabaran ini walaupun tahap stress pada ketika itu sangat tinggi. Tetapi, sebagai seorang pendidik, saya anggap itu merupakan salah satu tanggungjawab dan pengalaman yang brharga bagi saya untuk menempuhi hari hari yang mendatang dalam bidang pendidikan yang penuh dengan cabaran ini. 

Manakala, subjek lain merupakan AE501 Communicative English III dan DUE3012 Communicative English II

Perkara yang paling mencabar sebagai seorang pendidik adalah menyediakan bahan mengajar, latihan dan assessment. walaupun pada hakikatnya, bahan / material ini boleh diguna semula daripada semester sebelum ini kerana kandungan yg sama, ttpi pada saya, untuk melahirkan graduan atau pelajar yang berkualiti, pendidik harus bergerak seiring dengan kemajuan teknologi dan perubahan pelajar. Ini kerana, setiap semester kta akan berjumpa dengan pelbagai jenis pelajar dan latar belakang yang berbeza. 

Mejadi pendidik dalam bidang bahasa terutama bahasa inggeris merupakan satu tugasan yang berat. Ini kerana kebanyakkan pelajar hanya menguasai bahasa kedua ini di sekolah dan bukan d rumah. Kebanyakkan pelajar lebih gemar berinteraksi dalam  bahasa melayu atau bahasa ibunda mereka. Pelbagai skill dan methodology untuk membantu pelajar menguasai bahasa inggeris. Kementerian Pendidikan Politeknik telah memperkenalkan satu sistem yang kita kenali sebagai Outcome Based Education (OBE) di mana, pendidik menyediakan semua bahan sebelum masuk ke kelas, dan sebaik sahaja berada di dalam kelas, pendidik akan mula mengagihkan tugasan tersebut. Persoalannya, sejauh mana ka sistem OBE ini mampu membantu kemandirian pelajar dan meningkatkan mutu pembelajaran mereka? Pendidik plak sentiasa ditimbuni dengan kerja kerja pengkeranian, kursus, pegawai pengiring dan sebagainya, tidak termasuk nak menyediakan File Rekod Pensyarah yang harus diisi setiap minggu dan di hantar ke Ketua Jabatan atau Ketua Kursus untuk di semak sebanyak dua kali dalam 1 semester. 

Kalau nak dilistkan tugasan pendidik sangat panjang, hanya mereka yang terlibat dalam dunia pendidikan sahaja tahu betapa beratnya tanggungjawab kami. 

Walauapapun rintangan dan cabaran, saya telah memilih perkerjaan ini dan pilihan ini merupaka pilihan saya sendiri, maka akan saya galas sehingga nafas yang terakhir.

Sekian. 

Life as an educators ..

25 July 2015 | Kamsis PMU | 12:30noon


Hi..

Each teacher can recount numerous highs and lows in their teaching career. Personally, I experienced many great moments while teaching. These were days when I ended so happy and enthusiastic that I knew I had selected the right profession. On the other hand, I had days where I definitely questioned teaching as a career. These were days where the students seemed uninterested, too talkative, or even worse a blow up occurred and nothing got accomplished. Thankfully the average combined with the positive days outshine my negative days.Through my 4 years of teaching and working in education, one event stands above the rest as my absolute best teaching experience. Through it I learned so much about teaching and dealing with students. My hope is that the student involved was at least partially changed for the better from the experience as I was. In the end, this experience changed me as a teacher. Students are people who have feelings and who don't want to feel cornered. They want to learn but they also want to feel as if they have some control over themselves. I never made assumptions again about a student before they came into my class. Every student is different; no two students react in the same way. It is our tasks as teachers to find not only what motivates each student to learn but also what motivates them to misbehave. If we can meet them at that point and take away that motivation, we can go a long way towards a more effective classroom and learning experience. I also hope that there is something in this story that can help inform and inspire you.. my most favorite qoutes frm the students "ur kindness will be paid in heaven" congratulations to all my students who will received their scroll this coming august. i hope i made a different into ur live .. 

What is ur problem?

23 July 2015 | JPA | PMU | 3:25pm

Late post.. This is happen few weeks back.. Before Hari Raya break.

What is ur problem? U judging, pointing and punishing me without asking me?

Ko tuduh kmi berubah, kmi jilat ludah sendiri. Hey! Cermin diri sendiri. Sapa jilat sapa. Dolok bkn main ko sumpah ompuan ea sbb ompuan ea ambik laki yg ko minat, kiney tok bkn main g kta duak bermesra-mesraan berkomen d moment.. Nah.. Sapa jilat ludah siapa?

Lps tu ko tuduh aku, berubah dan ko ckp, saya fikirkan ko fhm aku, hey! Sbb aku fhm ko la aku x mau bg tau sbb aku tau apa reaksi ko. Mgkn d mulut tdk, tp d laman sosial tpt ko menghamburkan semua ketidakpuasan hati ko. Ko berlagak seolah olah ko la yg terbaik, ko la yg paling pandai d dunia, sehingga ko buta, bahawa org d sekeliling ko mula menjauhkan diri. Ksian kan? Kawan2 ko yg ada skrg, mrk cuma semadi saja sbb bsimpati dgn ko krn ko x ada kawan lain. Nak bukti? Ada mrk ajak ko kluar? Ada mrk respons klu ko mau apa2??? Saya yg ko tuduh lupa diri juak la selalu memenuhi permintaan ko! Tp ko x sedar, ko ckp main lps, yg ptg ko puas hati, yg penting ko da bg tau satu dunia yang ko telah teraniaya, terseksa! Seksa ko pandai, seksa org lain, tahi ko mau tau.. Ko ingat kmi ni mcm ko? Hanya ada sekumpulan kawan?? NO!! We have a lot of friends, sbb tu la masa kmi sentiasa ja sibuk, kluar dgn mrk ini, kluar dgn mrk itu.. Hey! Org yg selalu msg ko tegur ko tu, semua mok ambik kesempatan, kirim tapau, kirim rokok, lps tu semua senyap, x payah perasan.. Kenapa mrk buat bgt? Sbb AKU!! AKU TIKET MRK OK!! Klu ko rasa ko hbt, da lama ko terkenal, tp ko terkenal sbb MULUT DAN SIKAP ko yg SUNGGUH LUAR BIASA HEBAT NYA. Setiap kali ko buat salah, siapa yg cuci berak ko??? AKU!!! AKU YG COVER SEMUA. Aku yg terima semua rada tdk puas hati manusia lain. Bkn mrk takut nak berhadapan dgn ko yp mrk rasa buang masa bckp dgn TIN KOSONG! Ko asyik menyalahkan org lain, menuduh org lain, tp ko lupa, setiap kali ko menunding jari ke arah org lain, 4 KEMBALI PADA DIRI KO SENDIRI!! Saya berasa sgt KECEWA dgn sikap ko.. Bru ja beberapa hri x layan, ko da tuduh mcm2, smpi ko ckp gara2 nafsu, gara2 mulut org.. Hey, saya dgn dia x ada masalah, klu ya pun dia x tegur saya sebelum ini, biarlah, sbb Tuhan memaafkan semua org, apatah lagi saya sbgi manusia. Dia dtg jumpa saya dan tegur saya, x kan lah saya nak halau nak bg muka?? Sedangkan anjing kurap yg dtg minta makanan pun kta bg, apatah lagi anak manusia. Selepas apa yg saya buat, saya tolong, saya bantu, dgn hanya gara2 perkara kecik yg boleh d elakan awak HUKUM, TUDUH SAYA LUPA DIRI!! Wow, hbt sungguh budi awak dgn saya. Hey, ko siapa? Aku x perlu report or bg tau aku kuar dgn siapa, aku cuma berniat nak tolong org, x lebih x kurang dan x mengharapkan balasan, cukup lah sekadar menegur saya bla jumpa saya d mana2.. Sedih dan kecewa, bak kata ko, saya ingatkan ko kenal dan fhm aku, tp rupa-rupanya saya salah dan silap. Nasihat saya, klu rasa diri tu hbt dan x perlukan org, NANTI MATI KERANDA SILA ANGKAT SENDIRI KE LIANG LAHAD! Nda alah2 madah dirik kena tok kena ea, org bodoh atau org yg sama pala ko ja pecaya semua ia.. Susah mok deal dgn manusia yg kekurangan kasih sayang a.k.a ATTENTIONS SEEKERS. 

Ko ingat kehidupan kmi ni hanya utk melengkapkan kehidupan ko yg kosong dan membosankan ia ka?? Sorry la saya pki laman sosial, sbb mun mok jumpa ko face to face buang masa, sbb ko x akan mengalah.. Aku kenal sikap ko, ko mok menang ja walaupun ko salah.. Saya da puas bersabar dgn sikap ko, akhir saya tpaksa luahkan, sbb STATEMENT KO D LAMAN SOSIAL MENGURISKAN HATI SAYA!! 

Ko mgkn ckp, statement tu bkn utk ko, tp klu ko terasa TEWAS LA.. Yes, saya terasa sbb kata kata ko dlm laman sosial tu mmg menuju menjurus ke arah saya.. Aku da fikir semua da respons ko. Bckp dgn ko ibarat mencurah air d daun keladi.. Tidak menberi kesan. SEDARLAH.. Dunia ni bulat.. Mgkn skrg ko menang, mgkn skrg ko mampu ketawa, tp ko kena ingat, karma ada d mana2... Aku juga tau ko akan respons ke msg ini d semua laman sosial ko, sbb ko cuma hebat d laman sosial tp sbenarnya ko pengecut utk berhadapan dgn aku. Klu ko rasa ko betul datang jumpa saya, tanya saya, ni tak main sindir2 d lamab sosial, kate matang, hummmm.. D ragui d situ.. Klu nak bckp pasal jilat jilat jilat air liur ni, rasany ko lg byk jilat dr aku lah... Byk bukti.. Dolok x suka nya tok, kiney bermesra, dgn yg sorang kedak ia juak, kiney dan berkawan.. Come on??? Cukup lah bhenti bckp pasal jilat jilat jilat ni.. Biarlah semua org baca biarlah semua org tau.. Biarlah org yg buat kesimpulan. Tahniah, ko adalah org pertama yg buat aku benar2 marah dan buat aku hilang rasa hormat... Ko selalu ckp, aku aja2 jaga hati org, hati aku sapa mok jaga?? Hey, sbb aku mau jaga hati ko la, aku x mau bg tau aku kuar dgn org yg pernah ko suka sbb ko mmg akan menarik muka, nahhhh, sangkaan aku benar belaka, ko post d laman sosial, ko tuduh, ko hakimi aku menjilat ludah sendiri! Hey, sedat sikit eh, ko msh lg mcri cri cri, sedangkan aku selesa d atas.. Ingat tu!!! Tp asal ko tau la, sekiranya ko sedar akan ksilapan ko dan ko mok meminta maaf, aku dgn tgn terbuka utk memaafkan ko sbb, aku percaya setiap manusia layak dberi peluang kedua dan sapa aku utk menghukum ko? 

To be continued...

What do i learnt from my students

21 July 2015 | JPA | Mukah | PMU

Its been a while.. Been busy lately.. and yet i will never forget to update my blogger when even i have time.

Well.. the new semester June 2015 has just begun a few ago .. Not to forget wishing selamat hari raya to all my muslims families, friends and students.


Back to the original stories. As another years goes by... i do learnt a lot from my students. This Session June 2015 a much different from other intakes. i just dont know why. Mayb this intake will be my last touch before i say goodbye to PMU.. Maybe...

"Great Teachers Learn with their students"

Im in my 4th years of teaching. i heard my colleagues talked about what they learnt from their students. This puzzled me, what can i learn from students who don't have the content knowledge as i do?

This questions caused me to reflect on the students i've met over the years. While it's true they didn't always have a depth of knowledge in language, English especially, coz most of them came from native language or 2nd languages acquisitions. What i do, i start to learnt they languages in order to get to know them well.

kekuatan tidak datang dari kemampuan fizikal tetapi ianya datang dari semangat yang tidak pernah mengalah, berusaha mencari dan menambah ilmu, bukannya mengharapkan apa yang ada.

to be continue.. sik da g idea ku ..

The 4th years as a educator [late post]

20 Januari 2015 | Imperial Palace Hotel Miri | 5:49am

Dear Blogger ...

it is been a while. but i always believe "better late than never".

17 January 2015 was my 4th years of teaching. Meaning to say my 5th years away from my families. And my 4th years as government servants. i felt so blessed. there is no word could describes i happy i am coz be able to in this positions. All the hard works the sacrifices was really paid. TQ to a my mum and dad, my brother and sister and to all my families member, relatives and friends near and far coz believing in me, support me and be there for me when ever i need. 

Life never been this easy. Teaching is often referred to as a job, sometimes as a career, or even a profession, but it is far more than that. We consider the choice as a way of life, or even a way of being. The teacher's journey represents a lifelong commitment to learning, not only about your content area, grade level, curricular changes school policy and technological innovations, but about true passion for new knowledge and skills that make you more effective as professional and a human being. 

It is remarkable when you consider the teacher's journey is one of adventure. Each year we encounter new students and became a part of their lives, just as they become members of our community. We are witnesses to their sorrows. We watch as they learn, grow and mature as well when they falter, make mistakes, and fail. We do our We do our best to support, encourage, and inspire them to succeed. With our words, as well as through our actions, we model for them what is possible and what they can achieve. It is certainly through our skills, knowledge, and expertise, but also through 

our very presence, that we demonstrate our faith in their abilities.  The teacher’s journey is filled with trials and tribulations, just as one would expect during any adventure. Much of the time we feel lost, without an accurate map or working compass. There are obstacles to overcome and  adversaries to face, but also exciting and novel experiences. Best of all are the relationships we develop with many of our students, some of their parents, and cherished friends and colleagues.

The rewards of teaching are immediate and long-term. We get to hear students speaking a new language we have taught them, playing an instrument they had never held before and analyzing literature in a book they have read for the first time. We observe students learning to write, multiplying polynomials, dancing or creating an artistic masterpiece, as well as mastering many objectives. We know, if not for the environment we created and the nurturing we provided, the students would not have these experiences to call their own. We get to know students’ individual differences, abilities, and interests. Our greatest source of joy and satisfaction arises from knowing we have made a difference. We may have not reached all the children in a significant way, or even most of them, but each year/semester it is just enough to sustain us and feed our faith in the power of teaching. As time goes on, former students come back to visit. They notice what  is new or that we’ve rearranged our rooms. They tell us how their lives have  changed. They share how what we did made a difference to them.

Having u guys surround me was the best experiences of all, and i really appreciate it..

Love, 

Mr Larry 

If i could turn back the time.

08 January 2015 | 09:30am | JPA_PMU

Hye there...

Its new year 2015. But a very bad started thou. I hope after this will be more better than before. 

From the moment i lay my eyes on you a year ago, i fall in love at the first sight. But i cannot do anything since u seeing someone else that time. I kept my feeling deep inside my heart until that fateful day. I know, best friend cannot fall in love each other, but the feeling is mutual, and i cannot help  it. Texting and sharing problems made me felt so comfortable around you. 

frankly speaking, i totally regret my own actions. im the one suppose to be blame not U. but its already to late, everything that happen cannot be undo. and left both of us hurt .. 

im totally regret to the max. there are no word or even language could describes my feeling right now. i only can recite my own prayer so that u can forgive me. even so u forgive me, the feeling will never be the same again. 

i felt so down ... i couldn't focus on my work.. 

O God, please help through this once again. 

losing you is the most hardest thing happen in my life. people once said "when you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart. it's the hardest thing you could ever go through and no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away. you may think you're getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. you fall apart, for the hundredth time. and you feel like you just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. you love this person with all of you heart, even though you know you shouldn't. they hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. they stole your happiness. but yet, you still want them, and only them. other people come along and give you chances to move on, but you know you don't want to. it upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would and even if they broke all the promises, you want to keep yours. On top of that you're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again. but it's not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking about the person who has left you completely broken. you don't want to miss them anymore, you don't want to love them anymore, but you know you always will"

Loving you is not a mistake but a blessing from God above. i believe we don't meet people by accident, but they are meant to cross our path for a reasons. 

sometimes i think that maybe we are just another short stories. Like we may as well just be words on a page, because we're only what we've done and what we are going to do. in life we do things. some we wish we had never done. some we wish we could replay a million times in our heads. but they all make us who we are, and in the end they shape every detail about us. 

my life wouldn't be the same without you and all the memories you have given me. If I could turn back the time, i would love to start it all over again, and if it too much to asked, i just want to turn back yesterday evening. 

I felt so terrible sorry... I really really dont meant to hurts u... But its beyond my control, and i should know that, posting regading my anger on social networks are not professional at all... It made me very sad, so so sad... 

I hate myself now.. I really hate myself... People said, time will help us heal, but for me, the scar that i made to you, will remain forever and it will be never fade... No matter how many times i say im sorry it will never change the fate that was happen ... 

I felt im losing myself... 

I know u will never can read this entry, but, if it happen u saw it, i hope u understand, i hope u will forgive me, i hope everything will be fine someday..

When the time is come, i hope we will can be friends again... Just friend. That is all i need.


If i was a mistake, i hope i was your favorite ..  

Till we met again .. 

Tq for the wonderful journey ... 

Tq for all the sweet words...

Tq for the kissed

Tq for the promises

Tq for time

Tq for for everything .. 

your sincerely,

larry cassidy